dead from inside

hello. not in mood. i'm such an idiot. wana,aena,aya,yayae u girls really need to know this. i'm tired of this. can't stand this anymore. please god, take me. i know i had so many sins ! but i swear, i have nothing left. my heart now is fracturingg by him. yeah, i admit i want to do somethingg to him to revenge back what he did to me. but when i heard somethingg from my friend, it feels like i am now in the sky. ready for god to take me up in the sky. i can feel the pain. pain that nobody ever had. so so hurts my feeling. the conspiration makes me feel like i'm the only one that be in love with someone like him. wana = aku nk nanges neh. aku nk mum ado tepi aku. side by side. aena = mum, tlg bg semangat ko aku. aku xthn dos. yayae = tengs syg, mum ado disisi aku time aku sedih. app it so much. ally = babee, aku lebih terluka dr kamu. but why it always happen to me ? why i always got the fake love ? because i also be a players long time ago ? because i'm not serious to be taken long time ago ? because my heart full with hundreds of guy now or before ? because i cant take good care of my soulmate when he's mine ? because i always choose the wrong guy ? or because i'm blind about love ? why why why why ? anybody, just tell me ! i want to be in the sky alone or both. want to be with someone that knows me well. that can makes me happy. that can be the unperfect guy. that can kiss my pain away. it is just like a line of division where something is broken and i know, it is my heart. ally made a promise that she wouldn't take anybody as her soulmate except atiq. but i cant promise. i know, now i'm merely fifteen years old girl. i'm just a kid. a kid that only want to recognize love and live with it. and i'm perfectly absolutely find a guy that can be the guy that i give him all my love. all and i know he will be there. be in the sky. waiting for me to be his wife and the only girl he ever love. omg , this is the beginning of my life this year and it suck ! so, friends . make me forget him. full my life with your real love and real laugh and real cry and also real trust. that would be okay with me and FRIENDS is the most important key for me to make me strong and brave to face the world and the life. without family friends love and tears u cant live. u can trust me.

song by farawahida - hilangkan segalanya

sudah cukup hatiku dilukai,

sekian lama rasa tak dihargai,

sampai bila harus aku menanti,

saat indah setelah dikau pergi.

inginku hapus semua,

rasa mencengkam ini,

hanya padamu ku meminta,

aku pasrah.

hilangkan rasa gundahku,

hilangkan rasa lukaku,

hilangkanlah segalanya.

ku tak ingin sakit lagi.

hilangkan kekosonganku,

hilangkan keasinganku,

hilangkan lah segalanya,

ku tak ingin lara lagi.

ku menanti saat sinar kembali,

ku menanti cahaya dalam hati,

inginku gapai bintang yang gemerlapan,

agar terang jiwa yg kegelapan.